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Partnership and Love
Over the arc of time, the relationship between Bernice and Mort changes. Part I of this book is a courtship story between two unusual young people. At the end of Chapter 3, what have we learned about what pulls them together? How does their relationship develop in Part II and III? What does each bring to the marriage over time? In Part IV, Chapter 14, Bernice speaks about her missed opportunities. What does the author think of her mother’s regrets? What does Mort regret most in Chapter 17? Was this a strong marriage?
The Pursuit of Meaning
In Part II of the book Bernice and Mort raise their children. They offer ideas about literature, science, politics, Judaism and family. What values or priorities does the author learn explicitly and implicitly from Mort and Bernice?
Bernice recommends an American history reading list for her 11th grade daughter in 1968 for an independent study (Chapter 8, Cause for Hope). What did Janet learn from this list? Why did Bernice take her 12-year-old daughter to hear Eugene McCarthy and Hubert Humphrey at the 1964 Democratic National Convention? What happened when Janet became a teacher’s aide for Head Start? Is the author realizing how her mother fashioned meaning and values as she writes?
Ability and Disability
Mort faces discrimination at the end of Chapter 3 as he tries to establish himself in physics. There were no rules about how people with disabilities should be treated at work at that time. How did Mort feel after his opportunity was snatched away and how did it affect his willingness to trust others? When he got to Michigan State University, did he have a secure job? What roles did Mort and Bernice play in Mort’s career? How would their close collaboration be seen today? Would it be necessary?
Bernice and Mort each created ways to function well with their disabilities over many years. Do they feel proud of who they are? What clues do we have? How does a young Janet see her parents? What does she notice as she matures?
Physics and Scientific Inquiry
Mort is driven by curiosity. He struggles with and also enjoys problem-solving. As a small child, what does Janet learn about how her father works? Why does Mort recommend the book, The Sleepwalkers, by Arthur Koestler, to his teenage daughter?
What does the author learn as an adult as she researches Mort Gordon’s contributions to physics? Does she change her view of him? What do we learn about Mort’s final years at the laboratory at Michigan State University and about how scientists work together over generations? In Mort’s career, how do mentors play a role in his ability to work and his achievements? Is he also a mentor? Do we all need mentors?
Jewish Experience
Janet finds meaning In Judaism as a child from observing her extended family’s and community’s celebrations. What do rituals in these settings add to her Jewish experience? How and when does she continue to rely on Jewish resources?
What does Janet do to sustain herself after the death of Bernice? How does she use the Mussar practices, the middot? Is meaning something discovered once or is it rediscovered many times over a long life?
Losses and Renewal
There are many losses explored in the book. The Gordons face changes in their physical and emotional beings and relationships. What are the ways each of the members of this family regenerate?
Both parents become older, cope with serious illness, and need caregivers. How do they adapt? What do they hold constant? What does the author contribute and what does she learn? How do the sisters help each other?
After Bernice dies, Mort changes. How does the author see him differently during her visits? What does Janet learn from being with her parents at the ends of their lives?
Memory and Truth
The voice of this memoir is that of a loving daughter, but one with complicated experience. Do we trust her to be truthful? What tools does the writer use to build credibility?